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Monthly Archives: February 2008

Dave Clark 5 Minus 1

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News of Mike Smith’s death , lead singer and organist of the Dave Clark 5 (and pictured top right), comes last night just weeks before their formal induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. 

As part of the British Invasion, DC5 helped to usher in a new sound to American music and were one of the “premier” groups of the early 60s.

  Because

 
3 Comments

Posted by on February 29, 2008 in memorials, Music History, music legends, oldies

 

So What?!?

Drive-by post, but I’ll have much more later…

Last night.  2nd Row.  Keb ‘Mo.  Awesome.  Hot new artist found.  Kevin So.

Brighter Day

 
5 Comments

Posted by on February 23, 2008 in blues, Emerging Artists, music dudes

 

Pinch Hitter

I am crazy busy with a work project, so I asked my ever-capable compadre, Shrewby Doobie Do, to send me a little recap after “the boot”, so I could be up to speed as I type the fingerprint markings off my little fingers.  And, deliver she did.  This is about the most hilarious thing I’ve read on AI, save Dave White. 

Warning — it’s Shrew Uncensored.

Starts with Ryan saying that this is the most BUZZed about top 24…how’s that for a spin huh? Then we are treated to craptacular group sing of 60’s medley from hell…guys are in dark suits with ties…girls all look like the fell off the Amy Winehouse re-tread van.

Garrett Booted and sings his swan song.

Fembot657 safe
EyeCandyBot booted. JUSTICE served twice…OH MY MY EARS ARE BLEEDING AGAIN as she murders Connie Francis…who did she blow to get to the top 24?


Random thought… why is this show an hour? I could do this in a 15 minute break.
Oh dear god…Ryan is threatening that Pauler will “shake what Mama Abdul gave her”. I am hoping it is a snow globe, but am fearful that I know all too well that in a few minutes I will be pining for the days when she shook it with a big animated cat in a zoot suit.


Oh for crying outloud…it isn’t even a live performance but her tired over-produced ass video.
Please. Make. It. Stop. At least have the balls to perform live…Winehouse did.

Anemic clapping from a dazzed crowd.


Randy produced it…it premiered on Ryan’s radio show…talk about singing just to hear ourselves.


2nd girl…PlusBot and HNOD to center stage… Everyone on sofa is safe….SHIT
Results after the break


Citicard is about Elf food
Pantene can make you smoother
Petsmart food…15%discount
10,000BC ad…is that a remake of the Raquel Welsh Movie?
Payless shoes
Honda Accord…making over shabby people
Twins Version Fios Ad…HATE THIS ONE
StopNShop Local ad which has more pathos than most AI
WINTERSTORM WARNING CALLING FOR 6 + INCHES OF SNOW FOR US
NEW AMSTERDAM Ad..this is a freakin’ long break

And we’re back
Slice and Dice Ryan calls it


Amanda and PlusBot looking sad and wimpering
Who goes home…Who indeed…………………HNOD is safe
And true to Leftsez…PlusBot goes home. America can NOT get behind a large sister.
I am picketing Congress next week for Fatties everywhere.


PlusBot sings her last prayer…SushiBot, and some random Bot are blubbering…why? They are all crying now….insincere bitches…they should be happy…one step closer to winning.


Last man after the break…


Chikezie and Dingleberry..Dingle looks like he is going to throwup…Chikezie…knows he is deadman walking. WOW…Shocker…Dingleberry is out…Danny Gayman is crying. Chikezie is on the couch doing his best Sanford “Elizabeth, I’m coming” chest grabs.

Pauler offers Dingles encouraging words…and Simon interrupts and says…”Colton get a good job and enjoy singing as a hobby…you are not cut out to sing for a living.” WAY to stomp on the guys dreams in front of all of AMERICA.


Dingle sings E..more crying girls (that includes Danny)


And Tivo commands my cable box over to channel four…

Over and Out

God Bless You, girl.  You saved my life tonight.

 
6 Comments

Posted by on February 21, 2008 in american idol

 

Night of the Living FemBot

Sorry for the lateness of this, but it’s been a helacious day……

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Last night’s Idol performances are “in the vault”, thank goodness. While there were a few good (not great) performances from da ladeez, most were mediocre to sub-par. While we’re immediately informed (over and over again) that many are deathbed ill with the flu, that didn’t explain that most of them were stiffer than Mr. D’s freshly ironed dress shirt — extra Niagra.

It’s still 60’s theme and without hope of a Beatles song, I’m choking with song anticipation. (Not really, but it adds drama.)

First up, we have FemBot657. I swear she sings at least two more times tonight, but this rendition is Rescue Me. Evidently, Femmy has not read the Idol rulebook that clearly states in Rule57 that you NEVER do an Aretha song as you will always “pale in comparison”. Yet she does and we endure what seems to be 20 minutes of the whitest rendition I’ve ever witnessed.

PlusBot, up next. Ok, I want to be as sensitive and politically ko-RECK as possible, but the fat girl angle is REALLY wearing thin. Mandissa championed that position and last year, Miss Kee Kee honed it to a fine art. I do think it’s a bit ironic, however, that Idol finds a plus model, i.e., the skinniest fat girl around, for “the show”. Make no mistake, kittens, this year is about tailoring. And please, all of you Soul Patrollers don’t go off about Tayloring. I get it. I drank the kool-aid. Well, back to PlusBot.

She didn’t read the rule book but at least she gets within spitting distance of Aretha on Say a Little Prayer. However, isn’t this the 39th time we see divas in training “reach” with an Aretha song. Stop. Just stop. The 60s were full of more than just Aretha. It’s been done. You missed that boat. Find something original. Is it that they’re just lazy or they really have no depth in the music that they can’t find something a little less known that would actually interest the listener. Ok, she gets an “aight dawg” from Randy while Paula drones on into jibberish and Simon finds nothing redeeming in the performance. This goes on 8 more times.

Who’s next? Maybe something a little different? I think not. FemBot 658 up next. True to her twins, she pulls out Diana Ross’ version of More Today Than Yesterday by Spiral Staircase. While it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, it was better than the Chikezie version of the night before….

PEOPLE. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S HOLY, FIND SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

Back to the girlz…

WOOOOO….HNOD, baby….lookin’ tight in her jeans of many colors. FINALLY. Something original. Different. Baby, Please Don’t Go by Van the Man and Them. She rawks. ‘Nuff said. She gets bluesy, rocks it out, and even scats. Perhaps if she makes the finals, she can reprise this with some guy on harmonica.

Simon, the European, has no idea what this song is. Yeah, right. Here’s a clue:

A little off-topic, but, that vid reminds me of some kind of serial killer diary. But I digress….

Here comes EyeCandyBot, the Trade Show Model. Good thing she’s lookin’ good, because she’s flatter than the Sprite Mini-DD has had in the frig for two weeks. She takes on the oh so white-bread Where the Boys Are. THIS is the Connie Francis stuff that FemBot657 should have embraced instead of trying to go MoTown on us. But, as Paula so aptly put it, “The camera DOES love her.” The judges feel she needs a country twang for this song….huh? Connie Francis ought to make a guest appearance and belt a little Lipstick on Your Collar.

Dharma the SuperNanny, up next. She’s starting to compete with HNOD for Shrew’s attention and it’s bothering me. Must. be. loyal. HNOD NEEDS us. Dharma will always be happy, no matter what. OK. So, she was decent. She did a fair version of The Turtles 60’s anthem, Happy Together. I liked her emotion and overall, as I said…decent. But I’m sort of in the Simon mode here….get dark, girl. Come over to the dark side, just a bit. With all of these “good two shoes” comments, I know that we are being set up for an Olivia Newton John performance of You’re the One That I Want. I got chills, they’re multiplyin’….

And we’re at half-time….pee break and back to the laptop. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that Shrew and I (with a pop in from brc) are chatting throughout this whole thing and all of the brilliant names and anything that might be offensive, comes from her. I’m shameless like dat.

Ryan annoyingly brings us back….

LushBot — Alexandrea. But you have to say it fast, fast. While she has a little ‘tude on the name thing, her performance of Spinning Wheel was really good. She took a 60s song and did make it relevant. She looked good and sounded great. One of the top tier performances (and their weren’t many) of both nights. Way to go, LushBot. Blood, Sweat & Tears, baby. Now, that is grittay.

And, now we have the musically obsessed SultryBot. One of the twins…. er triplets…..er quads. She does some kind of Britney Spears thing in the prologue and then into a literal Mind Bending of Groovy Kind of Love. Hey, music maven wannabe, the Phil Collins version IS NOT the 60s version and you were flat, as well as yawny, mcyawn, yawn. Paula delivers her, “You look really pretty tonight”, which is code for “you sound like crap.” She takes the cannonballs and is visibly pissed.

Disclaimer on this next one. This is all Shrew and me under extreme pressure from Shrew. DeadDadGal, whose only real claim to fame so far is that she auditioned for Idol two days after her Dad was killed in a car wreck. Hopefully, her performances won’t be. She delivers quite well with Janis’ Piece of My Heart. The back-up singers really help make this a lively little number and it will be good enough to move her on. Dad would be proud. (BTW, she has Mobile kun-NECK-shuns.)

So we have diversity on American Idol, there is SushiBot. Although Asian, she attempts a Mary J. Blige act. However, she does very well with Dusty Springfield’s You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me. Oh, what could have been with the Dusty Springfield…but no, we get overdone Aretha and Diana. As an aside, Aretha is the ONLY Queen.

We’re thankfully nearing the end with a performance by BeyonceBot. We struggled over this name or FroGal but felt we need to stay in the “Bot” theme. She and DeadDadGal or very similar but BeyonceBot is a little more experienced, being a back up singer and all. We have to re-live the drama of her losing her voice at the auditions and what a trooper she is before she finally gets into Tobacco Road. My all-knowing cohort and chat buddy schools me that this song was, in fact, originated in the 60s by Lou Rawls, long before The Animals and Edgar Winter.  Who knew?

Perhapss young S’eesha Syesh’a  Sy’asia um, BeyonceBot discoverd Tobacco Road from this memorable AI performance.

Man, I miss those guys….

And finally, we are blanketed with pimpage of She Who Shall Remain Nameless.  However, it is evident that AI has felt a little heat from all the “controversy”as SWSRN discloses that yes, she had a record deal with a now defunct record company and it went nowhere and she’s really just a poor little tatoo shop owner from San Diego.  Randy who?  Never heard of him.  Really.  How dumb do they really think we are?  BTW, The Today Show had a little expose’ on SWSRN and all of the other plants via VFTW’s excellent sleuthing. 

So, get ready for wowage…here comes SWSRN, who even though she just arose from her deathbed is scheduled to knock our proverbial socks off.  She sings Shadow of Your Smile.  What?  What IS this song?  Talk about obscure.  And how, exactly, is that old Johnny Mandel tune relevant today?  Well, it really doesn’t matter because as soon as she finishes, Randy goes over the top in his scripted praises, Paula pats her on the head for being such a good idol even through debilitating illness, and Simon plays the bad cop and frets over her mic technique.

It was average, at best.  I’m sure some people who are tone deaf or don’t know the difference will listen to the judges’ assessment, but I think that SWSRN knows that this was not the best performance of the Top 24.  They either want the controversary to keep people engaged, although they’re pissed about the whole deal, to root against her or they really don’t give a hoot.  Perhaps Randy owes her one from letting MCA “implode” underneath her?  Don’t know but their blind promotion of her and demotion of others, stinks.  Desparation is one more step up the jump the shark ladder.  And, creating controversy to maintain viewership IS desparation.

Now for you conspiracy theorists, I wonder just how did Carly get the low audition number of 175?

Going home?  EyeCandyBot, SultryBot and one of the twins, or both.  No matter. 

 
5 Comments

Posted by on February 21, 2008 in american idol

 

Geaux Dred Baby!

So, I watched American Idol tonight and I must say I was underwhelmed by most of the performances in the “most talented group ever”.

First, just what is a Chikezie?

Elvis is turning in his grave after The Dan Man (a term I use loosely) and Jailhouse Rock. Dude, NEVER do that song on Idol, ‘cuz it’s automatically compared to this:

Perhaps Simon just really doesn’t like this song. I just wish he’d learn to pronounce Presslee and stop saying Prezlay.

If Danny wasn’t bad enough, Colton Dingleberry tackles Suspicious Minds. I think that Elvis is the only ’60s music most of these youngsters even remotely know.

Little Davie Chimichanga was ok on Shop Around, but I found it odd…..NTTAWWT.

While Michael Johns did an aight job on my most hated song ever, Light My Fire, he’s a pro and a plant, so naturally I’m not for him. Gimme the underdog, the unlikely, the truly undiscovered. Tonight, one guy broke out of the pack to become my favorite. Jason “Dred Baby” Castro. If his rendition of Lovin’ Spoonful’s What A Day For A Daydream weren’t enough, I found this prophetic vid on YouTube that sealed the deal:

Crazy, Jason Castro

Dred Baby to the top!

Going home: Luke, Garrett or the other Jason.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on February 19, 2008 in american idol

 

Something Good

Don’t ask me why….just because.  Perhaps in honor of Josiah Lemming?  Nah.  Just love me some Peter Noone.

  I’m Into Something Good, Herman’s Hermits

 
5 Comments

Posted by on February 18, 2008 in Music History, music legends, oldies, weekdays

 

The Top 24….Worthy?

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So, here is the American Idol Season 7 Top 24.

As I opined in this recent post, something is smelly in Hollywood. The picture above uses a red lightning bolt to highlight “contestants” who have significant experience in the music industry. Some more significant than others, however HALF of the top 24 are considered veterans by industry standards.

Of course, there is the failed music industry darling, Carly Hennessy Smithson, who actually was at MCA while Randy Jackson was head of A&R there. Now, I ask you, is that not a conflict of interest? Also, what’s with folks who are not American, competing for American Idol? Sorry, don’t mean to be exclusionary, but I thought that American Idol is positioned so sappily by the producers as the contest to find previously unfound American talent that would otherwise not have the opportunity to be “found”.

My theory? (You knew there’d be one…) I think that last season really damaged and de-valued American Idol. So desperate to avoid the jumping of the shark, the franchise has chosen to stack the proverbial deck to ensure a higher quality production and save their flailing popularity. I’m predicting significant backlash on this “underhandedness” as several media outlets are already picking up the story.

Vote for the Worst was the first to uncover the vastness of the plants and continues to follow the story. No doubt, we’ll be seeing more on this as the contest goes on. FWIW, Danny Noreiga is their current favorite. Of course, we saw his audition and then, nada.

It’ll be interesting to see how many of the true unknowns are voted off versus make it through. I find it very interesting that with the exception of my favorite, Amanda Overmayer, a/k/a Harley Nurse of Death (HNOD), that the auditions, backstories, and interviews have mainly been with the 12 plants rather than the 12 unkowns. We have not seen nor heard many of the unknowns, which puts them at a huge disadvantage going into the voting competition.

Hate to be so “Conspiracy Theory”, but I’ve lived long enough to know that nothing is as it seems and when large sums of money is involved it is generally a sham. I get particularly pissed by the blatant misrepresentation of these arrogant Brits who take full advantage of the naivety of most Americans. Well, they ain’t gonna scam this seventh generation American…I’ll watch as long as HNOD is on the show. Once she goes, so do I.

As for their pimpage? Watch for young David Archuletta to continue to be extolled along with Carly, from now referred to as “She Who Will Remain Nameless”. David is a biz veteran after winning Star Search at 12, over four years ago. Imagine the story if he were to win Star Search AND American Idol. Besides, it’s a male year and they’ve never had a YOUNG male winner. (Remember, peeps, I called young woman winner at this stage last year — my Libra Dragon-ness generally does not fail me.)

 
9 Comments

Posted by on February 15, 2008 in american idol

 
 
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