Decking the Halls…

08 Dec

So today, I’m trying to get all of my Christmas decorating finished. Yes, I’m slow like dat.

Due to my enduring gimpiness, however, I now need assistance in hanging the 4,000 yards of garland, hanging the 1,721 ornaments on my 8′ tree that includes intertwining 22,000 small white lights and scaling scaffolding to get every pine cone and hand-made bow in place.

Enter Mini-DD. Now, last night he “volunteered” to help me with said decorating because, of course, he wants to go somewhere tonight. I take it any way I can get it. As promised, he got up this morning and began the task of hanging garland and attaching bows and putting ornaments on the top three feet of our tree. And, he really didn’t bitch much…however, he is now because he wants to get going to his friend’s house.

Parenthood, particularly Motherhood, can be “challenging” at times. Who am I kidding? It’s challenging all the time, just usually different challenges in different stages. These pre-adult years are quite edgy sometimes, yet I know that in two short years the child who has been the challenge of my lifetime will be gone and I will be profoundly sad. Sometimes I wonder if he’ll ever come back once he leaves. Will he ever like us?

As I was contemplating this, one of our nieces emailed us a link to Anita Renfroe’s William Tell Mom. BINGO!

“The Mom Song”

Get up now
Get up now
Get up out of bed
Wash your face
Brush your teeth
Comb your sleepyhead
Here’s your clothes and your shoes
Hear the words I said
Get up now! Get up and make your bed
Are you hot? Are you cold?
Are you wearing that?
Where’s your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and gloves and your scarf and hat
Don’t forget! You gotta feed the cat
Eat your breakfast, the experts tell us it’s the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
Please remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at 3 today
Don’t forget your piano lesson is this afternoon so you must play
Don’t shovel
Chew slowly
But hurry
The bus is here
Be careful
Come back here
Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside, don’t play rough, will you just play fair?
Be polite, make a friend, don’t forget to share
Work it out, wait your turn, never take a dare
Get along! Don’t make me come down there
Clean your room, fold your clothes, put your stuff away
Make your bed, do it now, do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn? Would you like some hay?
Can you even hear a word I say?
Answer the phone! Get off the phone!
Don’t sit so close, turn it down, no texting at the table
No more computer time tonight!
Your iPod’s my iPod if you don’t listen up
Where are you going and with whom and what time do you think you’re coming home?
Saying thank you, please, excuse me makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You’ll appreciate my wisdom someday when you’re older and you’re grown
Can’t wait till you have a couple little children of your own
You’ll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now I thank you not to roll your eyes at me
Close your mouth when you chew, would appreciate
Take a bite maybe two of the stuff you hate
Use your fork, do not burp or I’ll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate
Get an A, get the door, don’t get smart with me
Get a grip, get in here, I’ll count to three
Get a job, get a life, get a PHD
Get a dose of,
“I don’t care who started it!
You’re grounded until you’re 36”
Get your story straight and tell the truth for once, for heaven’s sake
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff would you jump, too?
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said at least a thousand times before
That you’re too old to act this way
It must be your father’s DNA
Look at me when I am talking
Stand up straighter when you walk
A place for everything and everything must be in place
Stop crying or I’ll give you something real to cry about
Brush your teeth, wash your face, put your PJs on
Get in bed, get up here, say a prayer with mom
Don’t forget, I love you
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom’s work never ends
You don’t need the reason why
Because, because, because, because
I said so, I said so, I said so, I said so
I’m the mom, the mom, the mom, the mom, the mom!!
Ta da!!!


Posted by on December 8, 2007 in Funny, Good Stuff, that's life


6 responses to “Decking the Halls…

  1. brc

    December 8, 2007 at 12:59 pm

    Well just when you were making me sad you redeemed yourself with this unbelievably funny performance. I had seen this before, but never with the lyrics… it’s so true.

    Try to enjoy whatever mini-DD gives you these last couple of years. They are so fleeting. Since mine are younger, I have a few more years left than you do and I feel like they’re slipping through my hands. I seem more aware of it during the holidays.

  2. music maven

    December 8, 2007 at 1:10 pm

    I excitedly played this for Mini-DD this morning thinking he’d laugh his fool head off. I got NO REACTION. None. Nada. So, I say, “You don’t think that’s funny?” I get: “No Mom. I’m the kid and to us kids, that ain’t funny.”

    I seriously cannot wait until he has kids….I will be there. Lurking. Laughing. And slipping the grandkids Skittles.

  3. morewines

    December 8, 2007 at 10:01 pm

  4. AH

    December 9, 2007 at 4:20 am

    That . is . GREAT ! !
    DD he will think it is funny someday – honest.
    Mine is 34 now with 2 little ones and cannot wait for him and my d-in-law to see this.

  5. music maven

    December 9, 2007 at 6:00 pm

    morewines…I love that Taylor performance. The dude’s got chops, I don’t care what anyone says. Of course, Taylor will be on of the kun-NECK-shuns but you will have to keep tuning in to see where.

  6. morewines

    December 10, 2007 at 11:19 pm

    MM I’m going to leave you with a better URL.


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