I am crazy busy with a work project, so I asked my ever-capable compadre, Shrewby Doobie Do, to send me a little recap after “the boot”, so I could be up to speed as I type the fingerprint markings off my little fingers. And, deliver she did. This is about the most hilarious thing I’ve read on AI, save Dave White.
Warning — it’s Shrew Uncensored.
Starts with Ryan saying that this is the most BUZZed about top 24…how’s that for a spin huh? Then we are treated to craptacular group sing of 60’s medley from hell…guys are in dark suits with ties…girls all look like the fell off the Amy Winehouse re-tread van.
Garrett Booted and sings his swan song.
EyeCandyBot booted. JUSTICE served twice…OH MY MY EARS ARE BLEEDING AGAIN as she murders Connie Francis…who did she blow to get to the top 24?
Random thought… why is this show an hour? I could do this in a 15 minute break.
Oh dear god…Ryan is threatening that Pauler will “shake what Mama Abdul gave her”. I am hoping it is a snow globe, but am fearful that I know all too well that in a few minutes I will be pining for the days when she shook it with a big animated cat in a zoot suit.
Oh for crying outloud…it isn’t even a live performance but her tired over-produced ass video.
Please. Make. It. Stop. At least have the balls to perform live…Winehouse did.
Anemic clapping from a dazzed crowd.
Randy produced it…it premiered on Ryan’s radio show…talk about singing just to hear ourselves.
2nd girl…PlusBot and HNOD to center stage… Everyone on sofa is safe….SHIT
Results after the break
Citicard is about Elf food
Pantene can make you smoother
10,000BC ad…is that a remake of the Raquel Welsh Movie?
Honda Accord…making over shabby people
Twins Version Fios Ad…HATE THIS ONE
StopNShop Local ad which has more pathos than most AI
WINTERSTORM WARNING CALLING FOR 6 + INCHES OF SNOW FOR US
NEW AMSTERDAM Ad..this is a freakin’ long break
And we’re back
Slice and Dice Ryan calls it
Amanda and PlusBot looking sad and wimpering
Who goes home…Who indeed…………………HNOD is safe
And true to Leftsez…PlusBot goes home. America can NOT get behind a large sister.
I am picketing Congress next week for Fatties everywhere.
PlusBot sings her last prayer…SushiBot, and some random Bot are blubbering…why? They are all crying now….insincere bitches…they should be happy…one step closer to winning.
Last man after the break…
Chikezie and Dingleberry..Dingle looks like he is going to throwup…Chikezie…knows he is deadman walking. WOW…Shocker…Dingleberry is out…Danny Gayman is crying. Chikezie is on the couch doing his best Sanford “Elizabeth, I’m coming” chest grabs.
Pauler offers Dingles encouraging words…and Simon interrupts and says…”Colton get a good job and enjoy singing as a hobby…you are not cut out to sing for a living.” WAY to stomp on the guys dreams in front of all of AMERICA.
Dingle sings E..more crying girls (that includes Danny)
And Tivo commands my cable box over to channel four…
Over and Out
God Bless You, girl. You saved my life tonight.